You were my summer, now it’s fall

I told the universe that I never wished to be parted from you

But I guess I never get what I wish for anyways

My soul feels charred and scabbed

And when everyone asks how I’m doing I never know what to say

Maybe I’ll say

I’m sick of learning new colors

I don’t want to learn favorite songs, new birthdays, only for us to try and prove who cares the least.

And I wish his face wasn’t the blueprint that I go by

I always say I feel ok and that isn’t a lie,

but what they don’t understand is that I wasn’t just ok when I was with him.

I was bright and I was warm, my face had color, my shoes were worn

The flowers you got me are dead, but I haven’t been able to throw them away.

Even if there are brand new ones waiting for me

But I haven’t cried since that day

It’s almost as if something in my gut tells me that we aren’t done

But the longer I’m away from you the more you feel like a dream instead of a memory

Someone I made up in my head to pretend that I actually had something worth fighting for.

And as this fall rolls around I know that the weather isn’t the only thing getting colder.

I mourned your loss before you even left me.

Now I guess the only thing to do is see if I leave flowers at your grave sight.

And if two years comes around and I don’t see anything at your headstone

I’ll know there was nothing more to this than two teenagers looking for something to love.